Death.
What a heavy word.
Here in Mozambique we hear about someone dying
literally almost every day. Just driving into Beira, which is only about
35 minutes one way, we often see at least 3 funeral processions. It seems
to be everywhere here. It is difficult to see.
However, completely different emotions are evoked
when death happens within our own family. Yesterday, October 19, 2012, we
lost one of the boys I have cared for almost three years. There are
several people who have poured into this young mans life over the years. He
was special....heck....they are all special.
Domingos Antonio is now in the Presence of his
Father. He is no longer sick, weak, or hurting. How amazing is
that?! Life does not end when death takes over our earthly bodies!
AMAZING!
Last night I had the honor of sitting with the
three remaining boys on the base. We talked about Domingos, how difficult
it was to see him when he was sick, and how it was unexplainable to see him
REALLY sick lying on the floor of the hospital one hour shy of death. We
talked about how we were struggling with his family who has been absent for
most of Domingos’ life. We talked about how AIDS and tuberculosis were
diseases we want to see eradicated (I did not use that word though, as I have
no idea how to say that in Portuguese!!). We had a really honest
conversation about how our flesh did not understand and how difficult death is.
I don’t think I will ever understand it…..I never want
to. How can the loss of a child be
understood. Not just a child----a
son, a brother, a nephew, a cousin, a boy named Domingos. How do you ever come to grips with
it? What does it look like to trust
in the Lord and know His plans are good after a child has breathed his last
breath on earth? What do you tell
the other boys…the boys that have become his family? When do the butterflies in your stomach subside? When are you crying too much---or not
enough?
Trusting is not always understanding the plan, or even
knowing it in advance. Faith is not knowing what tomorrow will bring, but
believing in the One who holds the future in His hand. My God is mighty. He calls all things into being, there
is nothing that sneaks by Him….everything is under His control. And now Domingos is by His side. Wow…I mean
seriously…WOW.
Here's the thing, our flesh can be sad, confused, hurting, or whatever.
But JESUS CHRIST is so much more. He can most certainly handle
everything our flesh feels and He will never forsake us. So, yah, I don’t know all the answers,
or have all the right words, but I don’t have to have it all figured out. It’s best that I don’t! Oh my goodness, can you imagine if I
did…yowzer. But I do know that my God is good. He is faithful.
And He is GOD. And because
of that Truth, it does not matter that I don’t know.
We believe.
We trust.
We have hope.
